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| This pride in producing only males is common to all times and places. So one should not be astonished at the proliferation of a highly specialised ‘how-to’ literature which, over three centuries, has developed and refined various recipes aiming to teach couples ‘The Art of Producing Boys’. Until the middle of the 19th century our ancestors still firmly believed that ‘each procreation adhering to the rules of the art would produce only males.’ Females were considered the result of some imperfection, of a clumsiness that some simple |
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precaution could have avoided.
It is in this context that male-producing diets were developed. To begin with
the couple should drink white wines only. Those of Burgundy and Champagne were
of course the noblest and most sought after for their virile potency. Certain recipes advised powdered womb of hare. The white testicles of billy goats were highly prized, as male engenders male. But woe to those who consumed one only!
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They ran the risk of producing a mono-testicled son! The coupling itself, after a long and detailed preparation, had to proceed in joy, as sadness resulted only in girls.
That, of course, required the consumption of first class wines to jollify the creative humours! The frolics could then proceed in a warm bed scented with musk.
Yet, despite these elaborate precautions, the number of girls, strangely enough, always |
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remained the same! Experts came up with a new high-tech method. This combined anatomic and balletic approach, postulated that each testicle was responsible for one sex; the right one, naturally, for boys. The man had thus to tilt leftwards and aim at the right ovary of his spouse which captured the male seed. The angle of the ‘canon of life’ was aimed with precision thanks to the effects of wine judiciously consumed before the act. At the crucial moment the left hand of the husband had to slide briskly under the hip of his consort and lift her quickly to an angle of 30 degrees relative to his fertilising axis. As one can see, begetting a male required a technique of infinite delicacy and complexity. The artillery was at a distinct advantage. We must give full credit to our ancestors for their single-minded and acrobatic endeavours.
Even if this operation was successful, that was not the end of the story. If the
newborn boy looked weak or did not cry he was sometimes immersed in a fortifying
wine concoction. It even happened that he was made to drink a mouthful: ‘Many
midwives fill their mouth with wine which they gently blow into the child’s as soon
as he emerges,’ notes one obstetrician. This was common practice in Champagne.
History relates that Louis XIV managed to escape this old-fashioned kiss of
life. When born the French prince was first bathed in lukewarm lustral water. He
was then placed on a silver platter to be clothed in the shirt sent by Pope Urban VIII and then wrapped in swaddling clothes also blessed by the Holy Father, to show that he was recognised as the eldest son of the Church. Governesses, sub-governesses, wet nurses and rockers surrounded the young Dauphin. The doctor and pharmacist attached to the Dauphin’s household kept a close watch over the diet of the wet nurse who had to eat quantities of meat and consume noble wine to enrich her milk.
History does not report whether this special tasting milk, which he had to suckle twice a night until the age of ten months, was to his liking. But it may have become an acquired taste: during the whole of his life he drank only the best wine of Champagne, at least until 1695 when his doctor, alarmed at the state of the august stomach, made him switch to old burgundies as they are less acid. |
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